A Whiff of Fragrance

A whiff of a certain fragrance is powerful enough to transport you to a time and space when you first smelt it with that special someone. And this is exactly what to-be couples in the city are cashing in on for their D-day, the power of exquisite fragrance. Wedding planners in the city say that brides (sometimes the bride’s father too!) and grooms want their wedding to have an scent whose fragrance will cast a spell on their guests, and become a memory for them.

From the rich and the famous, to the mango people, everyone is trying hard to ensure that their wedding smells like no one elses. While tycoon Narayana Murthy’s son, Rohan Murthy used  orange blossom for his reception, Archana Easwaran, a media professional who got married recently, opted for exquisite aromas for four of her ceremonies. She  says, “The venue aside, we wanted our guests and families to truly remember the event down to the last detail, including the scents and arrangements.” Shreya Dutta, of Krafted Knots, explains exactly why the concept is enticing. “Fragrances are a crucial part of any space. Though  they were always a nondescript part of weddings, couples today are very particular about how their ceremonies smell. I have seen a 30 percent increase in the number of couples asking for this, in the last six months.” Shreya recently did an NRI wedding in the city, where the Dutch bride’s father loved the lemongrass fragrance at a certain hotel and wanted the ceremonies to be redolent with its aroma. Kiran Ranga, the managing director of Ripple Fragrances, says that couples choose fragrances that describe their personas.

Depending on the size of the venue, number of people and the fragrance in question, the cost could vary from Rs 2,000 to Rs 15,000. Neha, who got married in February, wanted to use frankincense. “But, since it is not available in India, we had to fly it down. She wanted a fragrance which people would not have had much exposure to. It was used for the reception. I guess the fragrance was a reminder for the couple of a lovely holiday they had, which had cemented their relationship,” reveals Shreya, who planned the nuptials for this couple. Since the main ceremony is all about the aromas of ghee and fire, couples prefer leaving the exotic smells out of the mandap. Wedding planner Vithika Agarwal, of Divyavithika, seems unsure about this trend. “A certain smell might be pleasant for one and overwhelming for another,” she adds.

Can working women lead a happy marriage?

Some working women say that it is possible to lead a happy marriage while a few of them say that it is difficult to lead a happy marriage. Can working women lead a happy marriage?

Yes, working women can lead a happy marriage. Some working women say that it is not possible to manage all the household responsibilities things while working. Managing things might not be too difficult a task when you carry things in a planned manner.

Most of the time is spent in raising the children and for the households; the amount of work will be more if you are in an extended t family. Working women become tired after doing all the household work and managing things at the work place.

Top 5 things to Lead to a Happy Marriage
When certain things are carried out in a better and more organized manner, then you can maintain a happy marriage.

The following are a few things which might be helpful to manage things well in a marriage.

Taking care of your spouse
It is very important that you take care of your spouse. If you are working outside the home, it might be very difficult for you to spend much time with your spouse; it is advisable that you make some time for your spouse apart from your family.

Verbal Communication
Verbal communication plays a vital role in every relationship. When there is good communication with your partner this will lead to mutual understanding with your spouse.

Physical Communication
A few of you might think that communication is only verbal, but physical communication becomes prominent in getting closely connected to your partner.

Pleading
Due to lack of listening skills, you might not hear something important when your partner is talking about something pertaining to your relationship. You might respond to what you have heard instead of responding to the topic which he is discussing. Pleading plays a very important role in such situations.

Intentions
You can satisfy a person only when you know the intentions of the person. When you are aware of your partner’s intentions then you will be able to support him well and encourage him. It is equally important that both the partners are aware of the intentions of the other; this will eventually lead to a happy marriage.

Significance of Kanyadaan in Hindu Rituals

The complexity of an Indian Hindu marriage is owing to the fact that there are many rituals performed according to Vedic practices and hymns. Kanyadaan is also such a ritual, which apart from being vital to the ceremony, tugs at the emotional cord of the bride’s parents. This is the moment when their beloved daughter finally belongs to her husband. Kanyadaan is performed on the main day function of the wedding, during the mandap ceremony.

It is performed by the Father of the bride, where in he entrusts his daughter to the groom. In the absence of the father, Kanyadaan is performed by an elderly relative or member of the family. As per the practice, the father of the bride places the right hand of the bride over the right hand of the groom. After this, holy water is poured on the palms of the couple while the priest recites Vedic hymns.

This way the father gives her daughter as a gift to the groom. As per tradition, groom is considered a form of Lord Vishnu. Thus, presenting him gifts is deemed as the greatest honor for the parents of the bride. As a result, they offer their daughter to the groom, who is their most cherished gift. As a symbol of acceptance, the groom touches the right shoulder of the bride, promising to take care of her and holding her responsibility.

Life changes for bachelors after marriage

Most bachelors get used to being bachelors will they get married. Once that happens, how do their lives change?

Singlehood is singlehood. A bit of indiscipline. Loads of fun. Then marriage happens. And, life changes. Chaos, oh- so lovable chaos, goes for a toss. Punctuality intrudes. Things change. And how.

Waste of money: Not allowed. Remember the time when you went pub-hopping, blowing thousands of rupees without thinking of going broke? And once you did, that is, went broke, the way you managed your life before the next pay packet came along?

Post marriage, such recklessness becomes a thing of the past in the first month. You spend, but carefully. You have enough in our bank on the last day of the month. You may not like the feeling of being so financially disciplined. But, how does it matter?

Flirting can hurt: Very few singles can claim to have led a flirting-free life. And even if they say they have, chances are they are lying or married or both.

Post marriage, you have every business to like someone of the opposite sex. But even if you do, keeping the door to your heart shut is the safest option. Although, may not be the best.

Time for everything: Are you the type that used to sleep 12 hours a day during your weekly offs? If so, you must be hating the thought of having to wake up on time after marriage. Not that you can do much about it, because your wife is unlikely to allow you to sleep for more than eight hours not matter how much you plead.

Neat and clean: Most bachelors live in a mess. But after marriage, they seem to own tidy rooms all of a sudden. Nobody needs to understand how that happens. The fact is that it does, and many guys take years to get used to the idea of sleeping in a clean room with a clean wife, smelling of soap every day.

Marriage turns many bachelors’ lives upside down. Some get used to the change. Others merely pretend.

Marriage – the male’s perspective

It is said that the Boys think differently of marriage than the Girls. A vision of the hearth and home, kids frolicking around, a manicured lawn, the white wooden fence with a wicket gate, a swing in the porch, the pillow talk, the holidays and hill stations, a secure future with a comfortable bank balance and so on and so forth is what most of the girls envision when they think of the word – MARRIAGE. The male’s perspective is different. But wait.Let’s double check to see if it is really true and how is it so?

Desire to dominate

The male’s idea of masculinity arises from the content derived from books, history, quotable quotes and the braves of folk lore, muscle touting peers, films and heroes in advertisements. These influences prod a male to be a knight in shining armour galloping on a white steed, gallantly rescuing the princess from the demon as a mark of personal strength.

The male’s perspective with regard to the role of women stems from this outlook. The typical belief that the female is weak and fragile further dries up the respect required to bestow the status of equality upon women. This convoluted perception leads the males to believe that the female must remain a willingly-obedient partner in the post marital scenario.

All men may not have this archaic mentality of looking at women as chattels. There are many intellectually sound men who have broken free from this medieval mentality. But such men are few and far between. Most men see women in a subservient role in the arena of marital bliss.

The desire to lord over the fairer sex is a universal male disposition.

The male filter

A majority of men do not look at women as individuals. The female partner is just an ‘object’ needed to cohabit. The want is carnal, earthly and physical. If the thought looks far-fetched let all males tarry and honestly introspect on how many of them did deliberately search for a visibly ugly though highly merited girl for marital relationship?  The result will be embarrassing.

The male’s prism filters only the physical traits to go into a relation. How can marriage remain a lasting institution and marital vows a holy writ with this temperament in males?

Unfortunately for males the marital Vows lay stress on monogamy

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”, said McLaughlin. Here lies the rub. Men are hardly monogamous. It is not to suggest that men are basically lechers. But most are borderline cases.

The belief in one man – one – woman and the institution of marriage is not intrinsic to the male bent of mind. Most men look at marriage as a convenience in existence. It is a contract. Most will not think twice in breaching it at the first opportunity of a one night stand if they can safely escape the consequences. The thought may seem highly derogatory towards males but so is the fact.

Exceptions are always relevant. The institution of marriage could be sacrosanct for many men due to tradition, religious belief and even conscious acceptance. But the breed is dying.

Indian Marriage Flower Decoration

In Indian marriages flower decorations occupy their own place of importance. Certain flowers are considered very auspicious and have to be a part of the ceremony. But then again not only weddings but also other ceremonial and religious occasions warrant flower decorations. Every cultural event will normally include some sort of flower decorations with different motifs.

The belief is that flowers not only make the surroundings look beautiful but also fill the space with positive energy. So then it’s no wonder that flowers are a part of every celebration and joyous occasion. It is also believed that a well-decorated place draws good luck and prosperity. And what better way to decorate a place than with flowers. In Indian weddings not only the wedding venue but also the houses of the bride and groom are decorated with flowers.

Various flowers are used for decoration however the primary contender is marigold which is considered very auspicious. Also these little flowers are available in bright yellow and orange which are considered to be auspicious colors coinciding with the colors of turmeric and sindoor or vermillion which is used in all religious ceremonies. Another reason for the popularity of marigold in flower decorations is the life of the flowers; they stay fresh at least for 2-3 days. The traditional form of flower decoration includes draped and huge marigold garlands. These are used on the doors, the wedding tent and on the car. You will also see marigold petals sprinkled on the floor or used to make a rangoli (auspicious pattern made on the floor).

However, today not only marigolds but other flowers are also gaining importance as far Indian wedding flower decorations are concerned. Primary among them are roses, carnations, gerberas and even orchids. However marigold remains the popular choice because of the low price of these flowers. Another sweet smelling and pretty flower used extensively in Hindu Culture is the Mogra (Jasmine)without which a marriage would be incomplete during its season .But then again with Indian marriages getting more and more opulent each season there is certainly no dearth of parents who are willing to spend thousands of dollars for their child’s special day.

Some couples prefer a westernized motif for the decorations and they normally tend to choose white baby roses, lilies, carnations and orchids. Depending on your budget you will find scores of different types of patterns that you can choose from. If you have a theme you can match the colors of the flowers with the theme.

Analysing relations helps a happy married life

Filing a regular audit on the state of your relationship could be the key to a happy marriage, as couples who analyzed their disputes from a neutral perspective are reported to be less distressed, psychologists have claimed.

While some couples keep their relationship fresh with candlelit dinners or by taking up new hobbies, filling out a relationship appraisal could achieve even more impressive results, the Telegraph reported.

The advice may sound more appropriate to divorce lawyers than lovers, but dredging up recent arguments and frustrations in forensic detail three times a year can help couples achieve true marital bliss, a study found.

Filling out an appraisal online only takes seven minutes and can offset the decline in marital satisfaction that affects the average couple as time goes by, researchers claimed.

Eli Finkel, professor of psychology at Northwestern University in the USA, said that one can get pretty impressive results with minimal intervention.

“Not only did this effect emerge for marital satisfaction, it also emerged for other relationship processes, like passion that are especially vulnerable to the ravages of time,” Finkel said.

Researchers issued 120 couples with questionnaires on their relationship satisfaction, love, intimacy, trust, passion and commitment every four months for a two-year period.

At the same time, each person was asked to write a personal account of the biggest argument they had experienced with their partner during the preceding four months.

But half of the couples also completed a reappraisal where they were asked to assess the same disagreement from the imagined perspective of a neutral observer who has both sides’ best interests at heart.

Both groups saw their marital quality decline during the first year of the trial, but this was completely reversed during the second year among the group which completed the reappraisals. Couples in the two groups experienced the same number of fights over equally serious issues, but the couples who analysed the disputes from a neutral perspective were less distressed as a result, and reported being happier in their marriage.

The effects were the same whether the couples were newly-weds or had been married for 50 years.

Stress negatively affects marraige life

Stress has an insidious effect on our lives — taking a toll on our physical and emotional health, probably more than we realize. And now, stress can adversely affect our sex lives as well, reports a magazine.

Stress and negative body image
Stress contributes to a negative body image and bad body image equals bad sex. The hormones produced in association with stress can impact our metabolism. If we feel sluggish or gain weight, it can make us feel badly about our physique. Lower self-image equals less sex and less sex creates relationship problem.

Stress lowers libido
Stress takes a toll on our libido — cortisol is one of the hormones produced by stress. Our bodies need this hormone, but in small doses for short bursts of time. If elevated levels of cortisol are being produced for a prolonged period of time, they suppress our sex hormones. Lower quantity of sex hormones equals lower libido.

Snapping at our partners
Stress makes us question our relationships and partners — when we are stressed, we are not that pleasant to be around, and vice versa. You don’t want a partner who flies off the handle and snaps at you because he or she is overwhelmed. And you don’t want to be the one who incites those feelings of frustration in someone you love.

Stress and drinking
Stress can lead to excessive drinking. Excessive drinking makes for bad sex. We are talking about excessive, prolonged drinking — the type of drinking that you would probably hide from friends.

Stress impacts fertility
Lastly, stress impacts our fertility and menstrual cycle. When we are stressed, our hormone levels take a dip. Stress can impact our pituitary gland, which controls the thyroid, adrenal glands and ovaries. If the ovaries aren’t functioning properly, the menstrual cycle is adversely affected. Our periods may become irregular or we may even stop menstruating.

Uniqueness of Indian Wedding and Matrimony

Indian wedding and matrimonial processes are unique. They are totally different from other types of weddings. Uniqueness of Indian wedding in matrimonial methods is assigned to the diversity of Indian culture.

Indian society and culture has different religions and these religions decide the rituals to be performed in different social occasions. The religion also decides the unique ways of Indian wedding and matrimony. Depending on the religion there can be different rituals in Indian Matrimonial and weddings.

Hindu Matrimonial, Muslim Matrimonial and other Matrimonial Services for Christian Matchmaking, Hindu Matchmaking, Sikh Matchmaking, and Muslim matchmaking are available in India. A Hindu matrimonial and wedding service is totally different from a Sikh matchmaking, Christian matchmaking or Muslim matrimonial services.

Desi matchmaking services offered by Indian matrimonial sites include the elements of diverse Indian culture. While creating the Indian matrimonial services for Indians, Indian matrimonial sites take into account the cultural and ritual diversities of different types of wedding and matrimony needs. Most of the Hindu matrimonial rituals are performed using Sanskrit language which is not used in other types of weddings seen in India.

The Hindu marriage act of 1955 governs a large part of Indian wedding and matrimonial processes. Likewise, weddings and matrimonial services of other religions present in India have their separate laws and rituals.

All these different rituals and processes of Indian matrimonial services and wedding, makes it unique. The weddings performed in India are not seen in other places of the world. This uniqueness of Indian weddings makes it more enjoyable and memorable.

Couples need more time and space

When we first get together with someone it’s normal to want to spend all our spare time together. But as time goes on, at some point, time apart is usually needed. Some couples need more time to be alone than others and its unlikely that both of you will need exactly the same amount of ‘me’ time and together time. Sometimes this becomes a problem and one partner feels rejected but often it is just a natural part of getting to know and understand your partner.

Later on (usually after children come along) it becomes harder and harder to find any time to spend together just being a couple again.

Often couples find it really difficult to juggle all the competing demands on their time – work, children, friends, housework…
It becomes frustrating not being able to predict when you’ll be able to find that extra time just to relax together. But if you can at least try and make a commitment to seizing those moments when they come along it can really help you to focus on your relationship.

It’s finding time to be by yourselves, away from the home and all those other responsibilities and interruptions, that’s important. However, if you can’t make that work, just try to set aside, maybe, one evening a week to slip in an hour somewhere. Commit to some time once a week when you will have time to focus just on ‘us’.

To make the most of this time it might be a good idea to spend a little time talking about what your expectations are, and about what each of you most needs from the time together. You might want to discuss all the things you used to do together. Which do you miss the most – and how can you get them back again?

Try and think creatively and plan to do as much as you think is possible. Even if your plan fails you will know, if nothing else, one very important thing – that your relationship is important, and needs looking after. Celebrate that and have a plan to try again.